Uncle Jay Explains The News » White House

Uncle Jay Explains: May 16, 2011

unclejay — Mon, 16 May 2011 01:20:41 +0000

The world is ending on Saturday, so please make sure all your homework is turned in by Friday. One consolation: no 2012 election! And maybe that kid can finally go to his prom, but will there even be one? Uncle Jay explains.

Uncle Jay Explains: May 9, 2011

unclejay — Mon, 09 May 2011 02:03:32 +0000

Osama-Rama! Osama is now like Elvis, enjoying a great popular surge thanks to the ultimate career move. Uncle Jay explains every version of exactly what happened!

Uncle Jay Explains: Jan. 24, 2011

unclejay — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 05:15:59 +0000

On Tuesday night, don’t mistake the State of the Union for a special “patriotic” episode of Glee. That’s President Obama singing his own praises, and Republicans providing the counter-drumbeat. Closely watch Uncle Jay explain, but don’t fall into a mall fountain!

Uncle Jay Explains: March 29, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 02:21:27 +0000

Passover and Easter have brought forth a miracle: Uncle Jay explaining the news without once mentioning Sandra Bullock, 24, the iPad, or trained dragons playing hoops! So what’s left to expain? The good stuff, of course. Haha, april Fool!

Uncle Jay Explains: Feb. 22, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 02:01:04 +0000

America asks: was that attack on the IRS a crime or actual terrorism? China asks the same question about the Dalai Lama’s White House visit. Tiger asks if the media will ever leave him alone. Thank goodness one of these questions has an easy answer. Uncle Jay explains the rest!

Uncle Jay Explains: Dec. 7, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 02:55:04 +0000

Groups go gaga for Sarah! Globe goes green in Copenhagen! Grunts go gung-ho in ‘ghanistan! Gitmo goons go to Gotham! Tiger doesn’t go anywhere. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: Nov. 30, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 03:51:27 +0000

Those people sneaked into the White House and met President Obama, but now they have to return the 400 billion dollars he gave them. The system works! And Tiger Woods landed one in the water, which was unfortunately inside a fire hydrant. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: August 3, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 23:34:35 +0000

Happy Birthday Mr. President, even though you were really born on the International Space Station with the covert help of those who shot JFK from the off-site branch of Area 51 beneath Loch Ness. Also, Cash for Clunkers becomes Crash for Flunkers. Uncle Jay explains!

Uncle Jay Explains: March 30, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:27:55 +0000

Obviously, President Obama has been watching Uncle Jay. He’s started doing online videos to answer your e-mailed questions. Uncle Jay is flattered, and will reciprocate by spending trillions of dollars of your money. Hit that tip jar!

Uncle Jay Explains: March 9, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:06:29 +0000

Pretty amazing that Daylight Savings actually showed up on time … most other savings have disappeared. Springtime may be awful pretty, but most of the news is pretty awful. And yet, Uncle Jay explains it all!