Uncle Jay Explains The News » Stock market

Uncle Jay Explains: Nov. 2, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:44:47 +0000

You can stare at goats, or at a dead singer’s movie, or at a health care bill that’s ready for its close-up. The news is pretty much constant paranormal activity, but Uncle Jay explains it all! (note: this visual joke was posted a week before the Daily Show did it!)

Uncle Jay Explains: Oct. 19, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:44:03 +0000

Lessons learned from this week’s news:

1. Do not base the success of your hoax on the flawless participation of a six-year-old.

2. Do not base the success of your NFL team purchase on the cooperation of the NFL.

3. Do not try to understand the news without Uncle Jay’s help!

Uncle Jay Explains: Dec. 22, 2008

unclejay — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 01:00:43 +0000

It’s been a whole year since Uncle Jay has SUNG an entire episode, and here’s the reminder why! It’s the year-end review of the news — maybe it’ll seem a little better with music.

Uncle Jay Explains: Oct. 27, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:51:59 +0000

The final days of the election plunge ahead! Obama’s getting reamed by Joe the Plumber, McCain’s mopping up after those poll numbers, Palin’s wiping down the smell of her fashion expenses, and Biden’s trying to plug up his mouth. Oh yeah, and there’s High School Musical 3. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains the News: Oct. 6, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 21:50:44 +0000

Our economy is saved! Think of the economy as a Damsel in Distress, and the government as a Handsome Prince on a Mighty Horse. Now, for a clue about how the government will handle this crisis, look directly underneath the horse. Uncle Jay explains it all, and of course includes O.J. Simpson.

Uncle Jay Explains the News: Sept. 15, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 22:41:10 +0000

Why is this election going insane? Maybe it’s the high stakes. Maybe it’s the internet. Maybe it’s Maybelline. Put on your best lipstick as Uncle Jay explains the latest.

Uncle Jay Explains the News: August 4, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 21:41:14 +0000

Obama may be a politician, but is he experienced and ready enough to be a celebrity? The news was full of tough questions like this all week. Plus, China has cleared away all the smog, dirt and dissidents for the Olympics. Uncle Jay explains it all, and more!

Uncle Jay Explains the News – June 30, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 20:57:18 +0000

Guns! Sometimes this issue is so frustrating, you just wanna SHOOT somebody! But no, Uncle Jay calmly explains the blast from the big guns at the Supreme Court, and the return fire they’re getting. Plus, Bill Gates shuts down his career by clicking “Start.” Figures.

Uncle Jay Explains the News – June 23, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 22:00:32 +0000

How bubbly will those oil prices get, anyway? Pretty soon a bottle of oil will cost even more than a bottle of water! It’s affecting the news in many different ways, but Uncle Jay has explanations for everything. A few even make sense.

Uncle Jay Explains the News – June 9, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:23:58 +0000

Now the REAL fun starts! Uncle Jay confidently predicts that all the famous pundits will confidently predict the Vice-Presidential nominees. Y’know, the same pundits who said that this year’s race would be between Clinton and Romney. That Big Brown was a sure bet. That the Indiana Jones movie would be great. Can’t wait for their Hulk review.