Uncle Jay Explains The News » Nancy Pelosi

Uncle Jay Explains: Nov. 2, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:44:47 +0000

You can stare at goats, or at a dead singer’s movie, or at a health care bill that’s ready for its close-up. The news is pretty much constant paranormal activity, but Uncle Jay explains it all! (note: this visual joke was posted a week before the Daily Show did it!)

Uncle Jay Explains: Oct. 19, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 00:44:03 +0000

Lessons learned from this week’s news:

1. Do not base the success of your hoax on the flawless participation of a six-year-old.

2. Do not base the success of your NFL team purchase on the cooperation of the NFL.

3. Do not try to understand the news without Uncle Jay’s help!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 1, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 05:01:37 +0000

One big judging spectacle ends, another one begins. No Simon Cowell this time, just 100 Senators calling the tune. Plus, GM punches out, and Kim Jong Il punches out the UN. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains the News: Oct. 6, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 21:50:44 +0000

Our economy is saved! Think of the economy as a Damsel in Distress, and the government as a Handsome Prince on a Mighty Horse. Now, for a clue about how the government will handle this crisis, look directly underneath the horse. Uncle Jay explains it all, and of course includes O.J. Simpson.

Uncle Jay Explains the News: Sept. 29, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:12:01 +0000

It’s the White House Cash House! The more you lose, the more you get! This week, Uncle Jay explains in great detail how the government bailout works.

Hahahaha … just kidding! Even the people in charge don’t know how it works! How do you think they got to be the people in charge?

Uncle Jay Explains the News – May 12, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 11 May 2008 21:57:14 +0000

How does she keep going? Uncle Jay explains everything with this week’s News Word. Well, not everything … nobody can explain the news completely, especially when Madonna is back in it. But it’s Monday, so Uncle Jay’s gotta try!

Uncle Jay Explains the News – March 17, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 21:20:31 +0000

Eliot Spitzer must be so proud to be the top story everywhere! Or not. There were, amazingly, other stories in the news this week: the wayward balls of March Madness, the bouncing banks of the economy, and those Superdelegates, who are able to leap coalition building in a single bound! Uncle Jay explains it all.

(Thanks for everybody’s get-well wishes. Uncle Jay’s voice still sounds sick but he’s feeling fine.)

Uncle Jay Explains the News – January 28, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 27 Jan 2008 22:32:02 +0000

A monstrous week! From Cloverfield to monster primary campaigns, not to mention the monstrous problem with the economy. The scariest thing isn’t that the economy’s sick … it’s that the government’s playing doctor! Uncle Jay explains the government’s “stimulus” plan to make our economy as secure as our borders.