Uncle Jay Explains The News » General Motors

Uncle Jay Explains: August 2, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 05:11:45 +0000

Let’s hope the troop withdrawals from Iraq go more smoothly than the ones at American Idol. Let’s hope Chelsea’s marriage lasts longer than this year’s campaign promises. Let’s hope the Chevy Volt sells better than, um, every other GM car. Uncle Jay explains!

Uncle Jay Explains: July 13, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 01:02:04 +0000

Michael Jackson may be gone, but we’ll have those unforgettable and spectacular lawsuits with us forever. Speaking of spectacles, here’s how to tell the Sotomayor hearings from the latest UFC match: there’s no theme music in the Senate. Uncle Jay explains what he can!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 15, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 01:56:34 +0000

Forget all that stupid little news! Economy smoldering, Iran on fire, North Korea fired up, Carrie Prejean fired … who cares? The BIG news is Uncle Jay’s big announcement!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 8, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:08:05 +0000

These deals are IN-SAAANE! Okay, that’s wasn’t quite the message Obama took to the Mideast, but that was pretty much the response he got. Over there, free floor mats don’t close the deal. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 1, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 05:01:37 +0000

One big judging spectacle ends, another one begins. No Simon Cowell this time, just 100 Senators calling the tune. Plus, GM punches out, and Kim Jong Il punches out the UN. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: April 6, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 22:02:17 +0000

Uncle Goodwrench will now service your car’s warranty, just take a number. Let’s see, you’re number 4,926,821. Plus, the world’s economies meet to solve the crisis of Michelle Obama’s wardrobe. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: March 9, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 22:06:29 +0000

Pretty amazing that Daylight Savings actually showed up on time … most other savings have disappeared. Springtime may be awful pretty, but most of the news is pretty awful. And yet, Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: Dec. 15, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:24:20 +0000

Attention, Senate Seat Shoppers! All those special deals for preferred customers have been suddenly discontinued. Sorry for any inconvenience. Also if you lost your job, house, 401k, bailout, or Bratz franchise. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: Nov. 24, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 22:07:18 +0000

It’s Thanksgiving week, but doesn’t the news just make you want to bang your head against Plymouth Rock? Or maybe Buick Rock or Edsel Rock. The news could use a bailout.

Uncle Jay Explains the News – June 9, 2008

unclejay — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 23:23:58 +0000

Now the REAL fun starts! Uncle Jay confidently predicts that all the famous pundits will confidently predict the Vice-Presidential nominees. Y’know, the same pundits who said that this year’s race would be between Clinton and Romney. That Big Brown was a sure bet. That the Indiana Jones movie would be great. Can’t wait for their Hulk review.