Uncle Jay Explains The News

Uncle Jay Explains: July 4th SPECIAL!

unclejay — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 01:58:23 +0000

It’s time to sing America’s praises for the 4th! Unfortunately, Uncle Jay sings about the news instead. Ever since December’s year in review, fans have screamed for Uncle Jay to sing again. So by popular demand, here’s 2009 in review. How’s that for punctual?

Uncle Jay Explains: June 22, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:59:17 +0000

They’re calling it the Twitter Revolution. That’s gonna look pretty dorky in the history books. And the Senate apologized for slavery! Thanks, can’t wait for “Oops, sorry about Prohibition.” Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 15, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 01:56:34 +0000

Forget all that stupid little news! Economy smoldering, Iran on fire, North Korea fired up, Carrie Prejean fired … who cares? The BIG news is Uncle Jay’s big announcement!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 8, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 00:08:05 +0000

These deals are IN-SAAANE! Okay, that’s wasn’t quite the message Obama took to the Mideast, but that was pretty much the response he got. Over there, free floor mats don’t close the deal. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: June 1, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 05:01:37 +0000

One big judging spectacle ends, another one begins. No Simon Cowell this time, just 100 Senators calling the tune. Plus, GM punches out, and Kim Jong Il punches out the UN. Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: May 25, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 24 May 2009 22:05:07 +0000

The future and the past boldly go where I’ll be back! If you’re not sure what day, year or planet you’re traveling through, the news will confuse you even more. But Uncle Jay explains it all!

Uncle Jay Explains: May 18, 2009

unclejay — Mon, 18 May 2009 00:40:06 +0000

What is the “Deficit?” Some kids at school take Deficit to help their attention, is it like that? Nope. In the news it’s about grownups who don’t pay attention to their money. That is, OUR money. Uncle Jay explains The Deficit!

Uncle Jay Explains: May 11, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 10 May 2009 23:48:27 +0000

Sometimes bad news can be good news. When? When everybody expected even worse news! Sorry, that’s about as sunny as things are going at the moment. Uncle Jay explains even the gloomiest news with a cheerful attitude that’s really annoying.

Uncle Jay Explains: May 4, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 03 May 2009 22:03:45 +0000

DO NOT DO THIS! And for more about how to protect yourself against whatever they’ve named the flu this week, do not watch TV or go on the internet. After all, Uncle Jay explains everything!

Uncle Jay Explains: April 27, 2009

unclejay — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 23:18:17 +0000

DON’T PANIC! The fundamentals are sound!! We’re handling it! They said that about the economy, now it’s about the flu. Uncle Jay explains why we’ll soon see a rollout of 3.4 trillion thermometers, to fight the pig virus. That’s all, folks!