Uncle Jay Explains The News

Uncle Jay Explains: August 30, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 04:14:39 +0000

In the media, reporters cheer, “We’ll Always Have Paris!” In Washington, citizens demand, “Restore honor!” to a government that’s away on vacation. By the way, so is Uncle Jay! He’ll be back soon!

Uncle Jay Explains: August 23, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 03:46:12 +0000

Protestors chanting on both sides at the Ground Zero mosque have truly turned it into Hollered Ground. This issue is so complicated, it can’t even be explained in 140 characters! Thank goodness we have Uncle Jay!!

Uncle Jay Explains: August 16, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 03:44:39 +0000

Steven Slater’s job exited down the chute, Ground Zero Mosque is experiencing heavy turbulence, Levi Johnston’s flight has been canceled again, and Congress’ ethics are not in the full upright position. Uncle Jay explains!

Uncle Jay Explains: August 9, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 03:57:57 +0000

Sometimes the news will occasionally … hope you can handle this … get things wrong. How is this possible from such dedicated professionals? Uncle Jay explains how the news screws up now and then … “now” meaning today and “then” meaning every day before now.

Uncle Jay Explains: August 2, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 05:11:45 +0000

Let’s hope the troop withdrawals from Iraq go more smoothly than the ones at American Idol. Let’s hope Chelsea’s marriage lasts longer than this year’s campaign promises. Let’s hope the Chevy Volt sells better than, um, every other GM car. Uncle Jay explains!

Uncle Jay Explains: July 26, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 04:48:02 +0000

Hello, fellow racists! Now that that’s out of the way, let the healing begin! Just what is it with race, anyway, and why does America still have such trouble with it? Uncle Jay may not explain it perfectly, but he can’t make things any worse than a real newscast does.

Uncle Jay Explains: July 19, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 03:52:23 +0000

BP’s spill is finally under control, but Mel Gibson’s spills are fouling the air everywhere … even upstaging Lindsay’s move to the Big House! Thank goodness George Steinbrenner didn’t have to see this. Uncle Jay explains!

Uncle Jay Explains: July 5, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 04:47:56 +0000

Happy birthday, America! We’ve all pitched in for a nice gift card for 12 trillion dollars. Uncle Jay explains Uncle Sam’s Declaration of Independence, celebrating the land of the free and the home of the Whopper.

Uncle Jay Explains: June 28, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 04:30:14 +0000

Summer fiction episode! Enjoy great fantasies like: Afghanistan’s going great! Elena Kagan will reveal her thoughts! Senators actually hear in hearings! Twilight fans care about critics! We all love to spell “Patraeus!” Uncle Jay explains.

Uncle Jay Explains: June 21, 2010

unclejay — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 02:11:32 +0000

Ah, the sweet spills of summer. The only thing more worrisome than the government not doing anything is that they might do something. If only government had the efficiency and orderliness of corporations, like the rollout of the new iPhone! Uncle Jay explains it all.