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Uncle Jay Explains: August 3, 2009

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Uncle Jay Explains: August 3, 2009

Happy Birthday Mr. President, even though you were really born on the International Space Station with the covert help of those who shot JFK from the off-site branch of Area 51 beneath Loch Ness.  Also, Cash for Clunkers becomes Crash for Flunkers.  Uncle Jay explains!

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28 Responses to “Uncle Jay Explains: August 3, 2009”

  1. Neil Russell Says:

    It’s great to see folks trading in their “clunkers” for shiny new cars with 6 years of payments, high licensing fees, and higher insurance payments.
    Just the thing for a slow economy.
    Hope a lot of them aren’t getting in too deep financially.
    Sort of like buying new houses with 30 years of payments, taxes, and insurance like a few years ago.
    Another great episode Uncle Jay!

  2. Melba Sibrel Says:

    Excellent, UJ! And great observation, Neil Russell. The gov’t does have a clumsy way of “helping”, doesn’t it?

  3. Little Mongo Says:

    Uncle Jay
    My daddy says thanks to Barry and his clunker program he might get laid off from his auto parts store job. He says that when I am ready to get my first car there will not be any that I can afford. Do you think by then Barry will have the taxpayers buy me one? Daddy seems upset and said he was going outside to cling to his guns and religion……

  4. TopgunOne Says:

    That half a million dollar figure you mentioned to photograph Air Force One flying over Manhattan seems a little high. Where did you get that number, Uncle Jay? But your point is well taken and such a big number makes two things very obvious — One, apparently nobody who is in any way connected with our government or Air Force One opps has ever heard of Photoshop. I can’t imagine an easier photo fake than to place an Air Force One shot onto any background photo of the NYC area. All they had to do was drop any of the thousands of in-air photos that exist of the Pres’ 747 onto any of the thousands of photos of Manhattan that could be shot from the open window of a high-winged Cessna on a sunny day for, what, maybe $3000, including pilot pay and gas. Two, not only was this a glaring example of computer technology/photography ignorance on a very large scale, it validates, in a big and spectacular way, the general impression that Washington can and will fly to any altitude to waste money.

    Uncle Jay replies:

    The episode said the cost was “close to half a million dollars,” which came from this
    story at “The Pentagon estimated the cost of the flight at $328,835, which
    includes the Boeing aircraft and the two fighter jets that accompanied it. “

  5. Berni-c Says:

    Next he will be flying in the space shuttle to view the planet ~ great way to spend our money ~ does anyone care? Hello, are you listening out there America? How about investing that money where we the people can benefit from it! Sheeezzzz!

  6. Goldie Says:

    2 of my friends purchased new cars. They each paid $7,500 for a new hyundai. Cash for Clunkers is a good program.
    I on the other hand will be making occasional trips to the auto parts store to keep my 7 yr old car running.

  7. Little Jimmy Says:

    My Uncle Jake says this is a good time to buy up some of those “clunkers,” because when a lot of them get crushed, the price goes up on the ones that are left, something about supply and demand. Uncle Jake owns a 1950 Studebaker, a 1953 Corvette, an Edsel and some other old clunkers.

  8. Donna Says:

    A good car properly maintained won’t turn into a clunker within six short years. Our 26-year-old runs better than many newer cars because A. It was well-designed, and B. We take care of it. The gas mileage could be way better, though.

  9. Carole Says:

    Love your Dr. Seuss imitation! He is laughing somewhere.

  10. Kevin Says:

    Dear Republocraticpendents…. Basically all the poli-nuts. It’s a big internet out there, full of lots of places to state your individual beliefs (which for being individual always sound an awful lot like Demopublipendent talking points). Let this site be the one where we DON’T have to read them. Most of come here to laugh and write and read comments about how smart and funny Uncle Jay is.

  11. Chris Garner Says:

    Racial harmony…. ba dum TISH

    Good one :)

  12. Mary Beth Says:

    Uncle Jay-
    I got a new Cobalt with $8,000 off the standard vehicle price with the dealer throwing in an employee discount on the 6 year bumper to bumper warranty. With an auto theft system added and paint protection, I paid $9,300 total. I paid just about $7,300 for a base Hyundai over 18 years ago so I think that was a great deal! I got a credit union incentive of as well, as well as purchased it during a “loan sale” at the credit union. I did not support the banks because they could not have matched my credit union. I walked away laughing from that one! The good thing about this incentive is that anyone, rich or poor could cash in on it. It’s just that most of the rich have new cars and could not qualify.

  13. Bob Greig Says:

    hi Uncle Jay
    Are all those clunkers REALLY being crushed? or are they just being re-sold to people who can’t afford the new ones?? I know car dealers are nothing if not honest, and in these troubled times, they can surely look past the extra money the would make……

    Uncle Jay replies:
    The dealers don’t get their rebate money back from Uncle Sam until they send certification that a traded-in car’s engine has been ruined by a saline-silicate solution, and then crushed by a scrapyard. Scanning these documents and then trying to send them to a ‘clunky’ government website is exactly what clogged up the entire system. Some dealers may try to scam the system, but it’s been the real surge of trade-ins that’s backed up the program.

  14. BRAD JORDAN Says:

    What everyone is failing to recognize is the government is paying for this program, we the taxpayers are!!

  15. Ray Roberts Says:

    “Cash for Clunkers,” Just another example of government writing a check that I will have to cash. God save us from the ignorant masses!

  16. Greg Says:

    Another thing about the “cash for clunkers”… Who now owns a majority stake in both the auto industry and a lot of the banks? That’s right …The government. So, when folks buy their new cars, who either gets all the cash up front and/or really owns the car? The government. That’s why I’m keeping my truck and NOT refinancing my house. Great work, Uncle Jay!!!

  17. DGHarrison Says:

    This is why we cannot allow the government to take over any private sector enterprises. Government-owned companies have the unfair advantage of being able to tap taxpayers to cover their losses or to create incredible incentive programs, like “Cash for Clunkers,” that would be impossible for any normal company to carry out.

    Private companies must show a profit in order to meet payroll and cover operating expenses. They cannot compete with a government-owned company that implements a $1 billion give-away program that proves too popular and forces lawmakers to pony up an additional $2 billion. The private company would go bankrupt, but the government company just takes more money from the people.

    This business model cannot continue. Not only must the government divest itself from the private sector, it must not undertake further acquisitions. Of particular concern is the healthcare industry. Government can’t run a measly car company effectively, and those same idiots think they can run the infinitely more complex medical industry? They’re all fools and so are the people who would empower them.

  18. suziQ Says:

    Does anyone have a good report on this “clunker” deal? we thought about taking ours in but it doesn’t qualify because when it was new got an estimated 22 mpg (dont know if it gets that now however cuz we can’t drive that far before adding oil! hahahahahaha)

  19. brian Says:

    I couldn’t have enjoyed this more… zippy and polite, with the tongue placed just in the right spot agin’ the cheek to take away all the non-warm n fuzzies this man-child possesses regarding just about everything this clear and present abomination… I mean administration, has brought forth on our once great nation. Cheers

  20. Ondafritz Says:

    The taxpayers are paying to take these cars off the road and no taxpayers are complaining because they don’t understand the rob Peter to pay Paul syndrome. Tax revenues are down and will go further in the toilet. But the US Military is buying 69 billion dollars of stuff they don’t need or want. What is wrong with this picture … film at 11 … Taxes will have to be raised to pay for these boondoggles and guess who that is ? Not big businesses by a long shot. They pay less then the average taxpayer for some odd reason.

  21. kathy Says:

    THX Uncle Jay,

    The Clunker part. the air force shots. and everything esle.
    Very funny and Entertaining.

  22. Joseph /nightbiker/ Richter jr Says:

    My ’99F-250 superduty with the 7.3L turbodiesel qualifies due to the 16mpg (highway -your mileage may vary. haha) but I love my old truck, and it will probably outlast what Hussein would rather I purchase anyway. The wifes’ vehicle, older than my truck, doesn’t qualify because it gets too good a mileage. SHE wanted to trade hers in, I want to keep mine. Go figure.

  23. Coyan Shades Says:

    First time here, and I love this.. My opinion of this program is that it should be closed to any dealer that sales any vehicle that is not made in the USA. But unfortunately that is not the case. I know a few people in my area that went out and bought Honda’s, and Toyota’s, Not American made vehicles, And that is not helping in this country at all.
    It really is sad that most of this money is going to bail out company’s that have decided to take most of our jobs here, and farm them out in country’s that where they can get dirt cheap labor, and get dirt cheap quality. I remember when a car made in this country was something to be proud of, Strong and long lasting. To bad Obama doesn’t try to get that back into this country. Then we could be proud again, Something this country needs…

  24. petra Says:

    I wish I could laugh – Jay is funny of course. I just find this program to be more waste of my hard earned tax dollars and I can’t laugh about that. I’d rather be charged less in taxes and let me spend the money how I see fit and not give it to the government to continually waste.

  25. Mike Says:

    Uhhhh Brad, the taxpayers ARE the government. I know it’s not a pleasant thought but it’s true.

  26. Jeffery Rightmire Says:

    I am going to drive what I want and it not Any ones business. We should have this fool impeached!

  27. Chris Garner Says:

    Hey Mike,
    I’m afraid that the taxpayers elect the government, many of whom apparently never were taxpayers…

  28. 'BB Says:

    I had my last car for 17 yrs, second owner, and I would still be driving her if a farmer hadn’t hit her when she was 21 years old and totaled her two years ago. She had 166,000 miles on her, got 26 mpg and looked like new inside and out. I still miss that car. If I still had her (a 1986 Mercury Lynx wagon), I would not trade her in as a clunker for a new car with years of payments and high insurance premiums.


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